Pregnancy Rants

Don’t Be a Tough Momma

I get it.

You’re an independent woman who happens to be pregnant right now. It’s awesome and you want to have the best of both worlds. Yes, it can happen. One thing I learned in the first four months of my pregnancy, though, is that you can’t act tough.


Since this is my first pregnancy, I had no idea what I’m supposed to do. I’ve seen plenty of women who continued working while pregnant and everything turned out fine for them. As a 30-year-old career woman, I assumed I could do the same.

After researching for a bit which aches and pains were normal for pregnant women, I decided I was strong enough to juggle both work and pregnancy. A little over two months into my pregnancy, I started getting cramps which I assumed was perfectly normal. My uterus is expanding, right? Or something like that.

After a week of of cramps, spots of brown blood appeared. Dr. Google told me it was probably implantation bleeding which was supposedly as normal as morning sickness. I braved through it without consulting my doctor. I didn’t want to be the panicky greenhorn who constantly texts her doctor about every little thing.

A week of my self-diagnosed implantation bleeding went by and it seemed to get worse. This was when I decided to text my doctor to ask how long I can expect the bleeding to last. To my surprise, she was unhappy with the fact that I did not text her for two weeks of having weird symptoms. She ordered me to go straight to her clinic.

It was a threatened miscarriage.

Over the next two months I spent thousands upon thousands on medication and medical bills just trying to keep my baby. I spent a lot of time away from work because everything I did made me bleed even more. Not only was I burning through my savings, I also lost two months worth of wages. Thankfully though, the bleeding and other symptoms stopped.

Of course, my stupidity didn’t stop there. (That’s why I have time to write this now)

People kept telling me that problems only usually arise during the first trimester. Since I was in my second trimester, I assumed that meant everything will go back to normal. I went back to work and tried to make up for lost time by trying to be extra enthusiastic.

Just two weeks after going back to work, I woke up with massive cramps. It was so bad I could barely stand. My doctor told me to stay in bed and take a day off. A day’s rest did the trick and the cramps were gone the following day. Instead of cramps, I was greeted by a pool of fresh red blood that had soaked through my shorts while I was sleeping.

Another threatened miscarriage.

This time around, my doctor was not taking anymore chances and ordered a month of complete bed rest for me. That means no chores, no shopping, no working, no nothing. She said that if my cervix opens up even just a little I will lose my baby.

I was in tears.

I take pride in my work and in my independence. I used to be so busy I would completely forget about meals and I loved it. But my baby is telling me to slow down and I need to listen. This isn’t just about me anymore.


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