It has been a while since I last posted. It has been a very long while. The reason for my absence is I am officially a MOM! I gave birth on March 4, and everything has just been a blur since then. My little one is officially two months old today. I have no idea where those to months went because all I remember is ripping myself open to push her out… and now we’re here.
Before giving birth, my husband had been suggesting that we stay at my mother-in-law’s house for a year so I will have someone to help me with the baby. Of course, I vehemently opposed this, thinking I am more than capable of taking care of the baby on my own. Well, I got what I wanted.
Over the course of two months, I juggled breastfeeding, diaper changing, laundry, cooking, doing the dishes, sweeping, mopping, toilet cleaning, ironing, and dusting. All of these I had to deal with on a daily basis. The problem is, at the end of the day, the house is still a mess!
If you’ll notice, the list does not include sleep. Personal hygiene is also suspiciously absent from my list of activities. That’s because I neither slept nor brushed my teeth. Who has the time? Seriously! If we didn’t have windows I wouldn’t even know if it’s day time or night time. Everything just blurs together. Despite all that I still don’t have enough time for everything that needs to be done. I’ve been dreaming of chopping all my hair off just to save me some time shampooing and drying.
My social life has been deleted. I can’t even carry a Facebook conversation with my friends. I think about saying hi to some of my friends but then I think about how much energy I will spend typing and replying. Just the thought of having to exert more energy on a conversation that will not get my house clean is exhausting.
I tried starting a post in this blog a few times. I wanted to announce the arrival of my baby girl. Unfortunately, every time I stared at the empty space, and thought about moving my fingers, I just couldn’t do it. I was too tired.
Despite all these things that I am ranting about right now, though, I wouldn’t change a thing. I always thought those silly Mother’s Day ads were just being cheesy every time they talked about how mothers love their kids so much. When I was pregnant, I was worried that I wasn’t mother-like enough to be someone’s mom. To a certain degree, I guess I’m still not like most moms. I still feel like I’m playing around most of the time. But there really is something magical about holding my baby. I feel all my aches and pains melt away whenever I see her toothless smile.
I didn’t think I’d be like this, but I am happy that I’m finally a mom. 🙂